Do not tell me that I don’t care
Because I’m the one pouring my
Heart onto these pages every night,
Sitting here with tear-stained cheeks
Wishing for peace and healing
At one thirty in the morning and
Picking up pieces of everything
You left behind when you decided
I was not worthy of loyalty anymore.
I am the one who does not
Eat or sleep or function at work
Because you did not know how
To be a decent human being
You broke ME
You don’t get to point fingers
Dear future self
(i) I hope one day you are with someone who not only comments on the scars that litter your arms, but tells you how proud they are that you have them rather than a gravestone
(ii) I hope you tell yourself that too
(iii) I hope when you open your eyes in the morning the first thing you notice is the way the light kisses your skin and the ache in your chest is replaced by the awe of the beauty of the morning
(iv) I hope you find the courage to say no without giving reason
(v) I hope you put pen to paper again and find the strength to write letters to people you care about without having reason, just to remind them you love them, rather than to say goodbye
(vi) I hope you learn to embrace the way your hair curls more on one side than the other, I hope you learn to love it
(vii) I hope your first instinct when you wake is to reach for your dreams rather than tablets
(ix) I hope you look at other people and not only see their beauty, but also acknowledge your own
(x) I hope your world is no longer a stream of insecurity, where anxiety licks at your brain and depression grips onto your fingers
(xi) I hope you remember that you are worth something and that you do not need to prove that to anyone
(xii) I hope you know that you were always beautiful, long before he told you you were.
Be careful how you get him, because you may lose him the same way you got him.
I’ll marry a person who knows how I take my tea, coffee, and alcohol
And knows when to make which.
It’s funny how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.